We all like to spend time with positive people.

The ones who always look on the bright side with their glasses half full. On the other hand, you have negative people, who you feel physically and emotionally drained by whenever you are around them.

So what makes a positive person and how do you become one? It's actually as simple as choosing to use affirming language. Our thoughts and the words we speak have the ability to lift energy levels, or decrease them. The way we say things can be either encouraging or depreciating. The words we think and chose to use tell us and others a lot about our attitudes.

When someone asks how you are, how do you usually respond? Do you say "not bad"? Subconsciously, all we and the other person are hearing is the word "bad". Why not try "I'm well".

If someone thanks you, do you say "no problem"? Again, all we are hearing subconsciously is the word "problem". Why not try "it's a pleasure" or "you're welcome". It's not just the person you are responding to that will pick up on your positivity. You will feel better too.

Positive language is not about pretending everything is perfect. It's about choosing to describe things and situations in a way that is energy enhancing. "This is too hard" can be reworded as "this is a challenge". "I hate that TV show" can be said as "That show is not my favourite". "That person is an idiot" becomes "that person is not so easy to work with." And "I can't afford it" can be changed to "I'm saving up for that".

The way we speak to our children is really important for the development of their self-esteem. If you say to them "don't spill that drink" all they are hearing is "spill that drink". You could try instead "be careful with that"
or "use both hands".

Instead of "you're too little to do that", why not try "when you're bigger you can learn to do that". Both ways are getting the same message across, but the second, more positive way is encouraging to the child and their development.

The words we chose to use can also have an impact on our physical wellbeing. Often you find people who constantly describe things as "a pain in the neck" have neck pain. Our body is very literal, and if you tell it often enough that it has a pain, it will soon develop one. Another common phrase amongst people, who experience headaches, is that something is "doing their head in".

It is not always easy to change your language instantly, but the first step is to really monitor the thoughts you have and the words you use. If you catch yourself thinking or saying something that is less than encouraging, rephrase it and try again. Get your kids involved and make a game of it. You will find that after a while it becomes easier and eventually it will become a natural habit.

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviour. Keep your behaviour positive because your behaviour becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny." - Mahatma Gandhi

Nicole Hutcheson is a highly skilled Professional Kinesiology Practitioner and internationally qualified Instructor. Nicole has been a Docklands resident for 6 years and is a regular 3008 contributor.